I’m now convinced that my GPS is broken. I feel like I have traveled for days with little rest. I can admit it. I’m lost.
The kind of lost that may never be found again—the GPS a kind of broken that can never be fixed.
I’ve stayed awake, sleepless nights wondering where in the world my sense of self can be found– where is that little blip on the map? I feel it’s quite possible that it’s gone forever, lost in the chaos of the past and the possibilities of the future.
Everything feels wrong and I’m more scared than I would like to admit because if I’m not me, who am I?
I know the person that I used to be a student, a sister, and friend. I know who I would like to be. A writer, a professional, a sister, and friend, but what I don’t know is who I am right now.
I feel constantly re-routed on my journey to finding my self. I feel like an empty vessel. There is nothing but the GPS steering what is left of me along and to be quite honest I’m not sure where it is taking me.
I’m worried about reaching the destination in which I feel like I have no control over. I’m worried that once I’m there I still won’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to do with my life.
It’s hard to be the person I show. The one that is full of life and happiness. After all, I feel empty.
I know that I can’t be the only one that feels stuck between two realities the world is too big of a place for that.
I just don’t know how I’m supposed to keep moving with a purpose when I know what my purpose is as much as I know myself at the moment and we both know that isn’t very well.
How am I supposed to find happiness for myself when I don’t know who I am? How am I supposed to introduce myself to others if I don’t know who I am?
I feel like nothing I do is true to myself because the self isn’t present. The emptiness that is left over becomes the loneliness I have come to know.
We all want to find the good things but what if we are losing ourselves along the way?